"Gigi Abandons Her Expectations" Mixed Media, 36" x 24.5"
"Gigi Abandons Her Expectations" is a mixed media textile and stained glass mosaic on birch panel, framed.
Realizing the Self can require a lot of unlearning. When we stop identifying with our labels, we face the core question of "Who am I?". Our expectations of self stem from who we think we are or who we think we should be, but maybe these identities are too limiting.
Essentially, we become the stories we tell ourselves. If our story is one of lamentation and we tell it over and over, we relive the sorrow each time. We paint a picture for others so that they can play along in our narrative. And then we wonder why nothing ever changes...
Gigi has realized that expectations are limitations. She has abandoned her autobiography - her mental narrative. She is jettisoned onto a new course with no expectations of outcome. Letting go of self-identification also means letting go of anticipating the future. Naturally, fear and doubt arise. All the buried "what-if's" surface and whisper calamity.
When we sit with our fear and anxiety instead of running from it, we drop below the feeling to a calm stillness. Eventually, the darkness that is our fear of self-annihilation (the death of the ego) dissipates and we find ourselves still present - still breathing. Who is this Self that is larger than fear? Beyond the ego? Breathing in stillness? And why should we need to label it?